Last week, counselors and department heads gave presentations to sophomores pertaining to the courses available to be taken for them junior year. After the presentations were done we all received packets that we were suppose to fill out and turn in, determining what we’re going to do for arguably the most influential year of our high school career. When I got home, I decided I wanted to fill it out right away just to get it over with. AP Biology…AP English…AP US History….It all seemed perfect to me. I rarely gave it a second doubt because I already knew since freshman year this was going to be my career pathway I was going to take. But then, I started to think about another presentation I received about college, which told me my junior year is the most influential considering It’s when all the Juniors take the SAT test and colleges focus on the GPA I receive during my sophomore and junior year. Then the magnitude of what I am writing on this piece of paper hit me. Waves of doubt entered my mind from there on. “Should I take these many AP classes? What if I fail? What will happen to me then?”. I became so nervous because I wanted to be able to manage my classes and enjoy high school, but if I do that what will happen to me in the future? My dream college has always been UCI because it’s near my home and it’s perfect for anyone who wants to pursue a medical career. I gave all my classes long consideration and decided I’m going to take the road not taken and pursue the more difficult classes.
After I discussed my classes with my counselor today, I felt very confident in the classes I chose, but then another thought hit me. Am I doing these classes for my future? My children’s future? My parents’ future? Who? Why? Life seems like a never ending struggle to be the best and to be the most successful, but once you are there, what happens? It just continues over again with your children, and did it start from your own parents? This ideology bothered me, and I applied it to everything I did. Why did I take these classes? Why do I strive to hit such high standards, knowing that I could possibly fail and end up unhappy? Even while eating these thoughts crossed my mind. Why do I eat such unhealthy foods? Won’t it affect my future? Sure, some hamburgers and fries would be awesome right now, but in the future I won’t be able to do many things I enjoy like snowboard if I’m dangerously overweight. How will I set an example for my children? There are so many factors and variables that could potentially alter your own lifestyle and how will you be able to cope with the knowledge of the fact you hurt your own future…or your child’s future. I have then decided to let fate run its course, not worrying about life too much and enjoying every little tidbit I have that I can enjoy, between my work inside and outside of school. I still keep in mind what I do though, making sure they don’t affect my lifestyle such as eating healthier and/or doing my work to the best of my ability. And that all starts with your own decisions.